Home Inspection Humour

 1.  If you went out for a few beers after work yesterday and forgot to drop off your brother-in-law, you might be a Redneck Inspekter.

  2.  If the baby's at home, but the baby's car seat is in your back seat, youmight be a Redneck Inspekter. 
 3.  If your bumperstickers outnumber your InterNACHI decals, and any of them have the following messages: 
  • "We Do Precision Guesswork"; 
  • "Gun Control is a Steady Hand"; 
  • "Palin in 2012 (till 2014½)";  
  • "Advice is Free But the Right Answer Will Cost You"; 
  • "Nice Truck.  Sorry About Your Penis"; 
  • "God Loves You.  Everyone Else Thinks You're a Jerk"; 
  • "Keep Honking.  I'm Reloading"; 
  • "OBAMA = One Big-Ass Mistake, America"; 
  • "Bacon:  The Candy Bar of Meats"; or 
  • "My Kid Had Sex With Your Honor Student";
you might be a Redneck Inspekter.

8.  If you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head, you might be a Redneck Inspekter.  
9.  If your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does, you might be a RedneckInspekter.  
 10.  If the Blue Book value of your truck fluctuates depending on how much gas is in the tank, you might be a Redneck Inspekter.  
 11.  If the gas pedal in your truck is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a Redneck Inspekter.  
12.  If your tail light covers are made of red tape, you might be a Redneck Inspekter.  
13.  If your horn plays part of ANY song, you might be a Redneck Inspekter.   
14.  If the duct tape and extra tarp in your truck is used exclusively for body repair, you might be a Redneck Inspekter. 
 15.  If your lawnmower has more horsepower than your pickup, you might be a Redneck Inspekter.  
16.  If you've got a loaded shotgun mounted where your 6-foot ladder should be, you might be a Redneck Inspekter. 
 17.  If you drive around during Halloween with a pair of those fake legs sticking out the back of your tailgate, you might be a Redneck Inspekter.  
18.  If you no longer HAVE a tailgate, you might be a Redneck Inspekter.  
19.  If you deliberately removed the rear window from your truck because it's easier to chuck the empty beer cans into the bed that way, you might be a Redneck Inspekter.  
 20.  If you've spray-painted the upholstery inside your truck, taken a step back and said, "Dang, that looks brand NEW," you might be a Redneck Inspekter.
  21.  If your gearshift involves a pair of vise grips, you might be a Redneck Inspekter.  
22.  If you keep a "Say No to Crack" bumpersticker inside your truck to remind yourself to hike up your pants, you might be a Redneck Inspekter. 
 23.  If your clients can hear your truck half a block out before they can see it, you might be a Redneck Inspekter. 
 24.  If you're driving the same truck that you were conceived in, you might be a Redneck Inspekter.   


  
Created by Susan Gumpher any and all work or images may not be reproduced without written consent